How precious our human life is…

Hello everyone,

Yes, I have been absent from making entries for a while, but I haven’t been idle. The Teacher’s Course has helped me really gain an insight into how Gnosis works.

It has been a long road. I dedicate a definite amount of time to Gnosis (that is, as much as I can remember myself). Reading Belzebuub’s story on his website has helped me gain insight into my own life and spiritual journey. And one thing really struck me, as it made me recall an old journal entry I made…

Let me take you to the day of December 28, 2002, a day in the era of when my egos had their delight in torturing me in the form of obsessive-compulsive disorder (or OCD for short) with no restraint; without Gnosis. This was about a year before I found Gnosis, but there’s an important message behind it… Obviously, the journal entry is edited for certain content, as most of what I wrote is very personal. I’ll stick to the core of the entry. The end of the entry is as follows (please excuse the caps, as this is a nearly verbatim copy of what I wrote):

“God, I hate my OCD. WHY DID I HAVE TO GET STUCK ON OBSESSING WITH (*ego based things*)?!?! WHY GOD?!?! I’D RATHER BE MISSING AN ARM THAN HAVE THIS OCD!!! DON’T YOU EVEN CARE!!??!!?? DON’T YOU KNOW THE EXTENT OF MY SUFFERING??!!??!! IS THIS A TEST OR IS THIS PUNISHMENT??!!??!! “

I continue:

“Sometimes I feel like God doesn’t even care about what’s happening to me.”

I’ll omit the exact content of the next sentence, but I will tell you that it is how I saw the world as: cruel, evil, and unjust, with seemingly no way to understand why. Next I write, referring to the omitted sentence:

“Doesn’t God even care about that?!”

All my life I had been searching for something. Ever since I was a child I had the feeling that being able to see and perceive the world was something special. But as a teenager the egos started to take over and I lost that feeling. It stayed very latent within me until I read Belzebuub’s story.

What’s the meaning of this entry, you ask? Okay. Belzebuub was talking about how he was practicing the Hanging Man Koan and he found while practicing it that the abyss was an inescapable fate if it weren’t for the intervention of the supernatural force of the Being.

“The intervention of the supernatural force of the Being.”

Those words hit me like a ton of bricks. As I remembered that journal entry I wrote, I realized that my Being had heard my cry. Here in this life, I have been given an opportunity more precious than the most valuable gems; more beautiful than anything that can be spoken or written. Nothing can describe that feeling I felt when I realized that.

Our Being really does care. Like a parent that hears their child cry…

I thought I would share my realization of how precious that our human life really is.

Thank you,

Tim.

Here’s the page I was referring to, if you’re interested.

http://www.belzebuub.com/practices-and-exercises