Yeah that's just another ego that takes us out of the here and now :) It's a pesky one!

Hi Astral Monk,

I have many similar experiences, mind seems to be so tricky when it comes to awareness practices.

There are all sort of so-called "awareness egos" which I can spot. When I spot one ego, right away mind invites me to think about it. If I ignore it, it creates another trap.

Well, basically, if trying to be aware doesn't work, then we can try not to be aware and see what happens, or maybe stop trying to be aware...awareness is natural state of being outside the mind.

Warm regards,

i like the idea of traying not to be aware for a bit and see what happens.

Sometimes there seems to be an ego that creates a false sense of inner peae for me almost making me think there are no egos operating, when allthe time raging latent somewhere are massive egos! Again I ignore this inner peace and try to find out whats really lurking underneath.

With wareness walks I do take theopportunity to have a clearmind for along as I can. If the mind is busy, then I walk much faster or even run for a bit because the body then has to take over to concentrate on the action at hand.

Best wishes
Jackie

Hi Astral Monk

I've had many similar experiences.

One thing you may want to try is to go for an extended walk with the intent of understanding how this ego works. Each time it arises, drag yourself back. At the end of the walk go home and do a retrospection on the walk and continue into a meditation on the ego.

I've found this to be a profound way of understanding some tricky egos.

If you do this a few times you'll find you'll achieve a fair degree of depth in your understanding.

A trap I continually fall into is to try and understand it with the mind, it never works.

Regards
Cliff

Yes,

Its easy to think you are aware, rather than being aware in all of the internal centeres.

Its like the ego in the intellectual centre 'tells' you, (to think that) you are aware.

Instead of feeling awareness in ones whole body and in all the centres, one is only thinking of being aware which is different.

I think the same applies to the death; one have to 'feel' the death process (and asking) in your body (centres), to really work.

I think with experience one would get better at doing and seeing this.

Yes, I can certainly relate!

Kind Regards

Jaco

Hey,

Yeah, I know what you mean. I think Vadim said it well in that there are lots of "awareness egos".

I often find subtle emotions or mental attitudes that perturb the awareness ever so slightly - often preventing me from seeing them. What has clued me into these egos in the past has been trying to get a sense for the state of my energies afterwards (I often don't feel that rejuvenation that periods of genuine awareness can bring) and looking at my dreams (if they are obscure despite me thinking I'd been aware then perhaps I wasn't as aware as I thought). In trying to be aware I find these the worst egos to contend with and they have done me much damage in the past.

Then there are the thoughts that we're aware preventing true awareness. And to top things off, even in those brief times when we are aware, there can be the thoughts that we were aware to break the awareness or, as you pointed out, thoughts that we were missing lots of egos.

I agree; the mind can be very tricky... very, very tricky.

Best wishes,

Mike

Great feedback,

Certainly, the mind is like a donkey that needs to be tamed! There are times when the thought "I'm being aware" breaks the awareness, and then there is the thought "Its too quiet (no egos are surfacing), something must be wrong".

As you've all pointed out, the best antidote is to simply be aware and see how things work without going into either extreme (easier said than done, of course).

But it may be easier to tame the donkey with a carrot rather than a stick!

Best wishes
Jackie