Surviving and Lasting Relationships

Even if there is some love between the couple, the influence of lower emotions and thoughts can still override it. Of course there is love in the world, but not enough it seems... I think we can probably say with a fair degree of certainty that it's the lower states that makes things not work, so when we get rid of these, our relationships change also. If we all interacted with each other in a more conscious way, how much more love would there be in the world...?

You bring up the point that people used to stay together longer - live in more committed relationships that lasted their whole lives. More likely than not, the reasons for this had to do with religious and cultural expectations and traditions, rather than people loving each other more. That's a broad generalisation, of course, and probably doesn't apply to 'spiritual' cultures... Short term relationships and divorces are certainly more culturally acceptable now, which probably contributes a fair bit, but it's not an easy thing to explain.

It is sad, though, how much pain can come from something that should be a source of great joy.

Liz

Hi Andrei,

I guess as Liz says it has now become culturally acceptable. As well as there had been a bit of tolerance I guess. Even if I see my mom and grandmom, I seem to be less tolerant. I need all to be in the way I wanted. My mom and hers had been more accepting in a way. But yep until one finds Gnosis. It teaches us to find the peace so tolerance is a natural outcome.

Regards,
Ju

Yes and no.

Yes, I agree with you in that if this was a perfectly spiritual culture with people growing, growing apart and together and changing to meet their needs and their partners, divorce would not happen, because people would be fundamentally suited and stay that way. Things are evidently different now, people match themselves up with fundamentally incompatible partners, change in different directions, the egos smother love etc.

I don't think rising divorce rates have much to do with people being less spiritual than 50 years ago, I think a lot of it does have to do with more financial freedom for women, giving them a way out of bad marriages, more social acceptance and understanding of things not working out and better support systems.
Cheers
a.

Most couples don't really have love. They stay together for the survival of the species. There is a love, but it's constantly smothered by the lower selfish states.

Some couples stay together because of kids, others because of attatchment, and culture, values and religion can play a huge part.

Rarely is there true love.

Ruben

Samael have written in "The Perfect Matrimony" that people fall in love, make promises to each other with one ego, but once different ego in them comes to power it breaks all the commitments of the first ego.

Thus you are right, we are not able to love because we are still more or less run by egos. And it is indeed our inner being that loves unconditionally. We all have experienced that love, as life have given us many opportunities to feel this love. The more we give of our self the more we feel it.

When I was involved in Christian church there I received a concept that I did not understood till I learned of Gnosis and that was "Ask God to give you love so I may love". I wanted everlasting love so I prayed for it everyday and love I did receive. I only found out that this prayer worked because when I met my wife and life full of comfort, I no longer prayed, and love have slowly vanished. We get what we ask for, if we do not ask we will not receive.

Effectuation and magnetic attraction is a law of nature that one uses to harvest the creative energy and which Our Divine Mother transmutate. But when we use up this magnetism the attraction turns against us and resentment and dissatisfaction sets in. As it turns out there is a specific hormonal changes that accompany this event that was scientifically cracked. here is a site who's owner has collected all the science and explains it well (it supports alchemy):
http://www.reuniting.info/science
http://www.reuniting.info/science/orgasm_pill_sex_addiction_holstege_all...
http://www.reuniting.info/science/two_types_of_libido

If you do not wish to do the reading, the author made short youtube video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NliPruvbhHA
(the author of the site is trying to sell her book on the subject, but we already know the secret of Alchemy, still she has lots of information on her site that is worth reading.)

Wishing you all a great spiritual morning.

Hi Andrei,

Like it was mentioned, perhaps couples in "old days" lasted longer than now because of a certain religious priniciples and gender positions in society.

Was it necessarily a good thing? Of course no...each case is individual.

It seems that a beauty of spiritual work is that it is beyond time and is higher than rules and principles. Spiritual work helps couple to grow closer to each other and to last while helping each other to grow spiritually, and contributing to helping this suffering humanity.

All the best!

Thanks people for your contributions. There is one thing though as the old saying has it that opposites attract. Now I'd hardly find a person on a higher level attracts a person on a lower level. I find people who are interesting are those on the same wave length so that goes out the window.

Some really interesting and insightful points have been brought up, and I suppose we only need to look at our own relationships to see what brings them down.

Our inner world fashions our external world too, so the more we have inner turmoil, disappointments, expectations, negative attitudes and so on, then our daily life and our relationships will be the sum of that, more or less.

There are different attractions, those of affinity, those that are magnetic and the attraction of opposites which is related to the magnetic attraction, from what I understand. Any comments or clarifications on this are welcome.

Lastly, there's a quote by Ghandi that can be applied to any relationship or situation, it went something like this: Be the change you want the world to be.

Layla