Hello there Dusty,
You have raised very interesting questions.

Yes, egos are entities seperate to our Essence, our Consciousness. They have their own agendas, bound by past life experiences, their goal is to fulfil their desires, wants, etc. And in order for them to fulfil these desires they need to survive, so when they realise that the Essence is trying to get rid of them they will fight back tooth and nail.
It is the ego that makes us think that this Inner Work is too hard and impossible to achieve, it is the ego that misleads and distracts us from this the most noblest pursuits in life: to fully awaken our Consciousness.
They are also telepathic so that you can actually pick up on the egos of another person, at times this can be consciously or unconsciously.
So as you can see it is a true war that we must wage against the egos in order to rescue our consciousness within that is waiting to be set free.
I hope this has helped.
Kind regards,
Patricia

Hi Patricia,

Yes, that helped quite a bit. I'm still a bit confused in trying to make sense of how they work. Sometimes I think that they work in a way that spells out their demise. I'm really excited about this work. I look forward to doing exercises all day long; I look forward to waking up in dreams or projecting. I desire to reach higher spiritual states. I want to "rise above". Is this an ego? If so, why would they act in a way to create this desire and excitement?

They do make the exercises very hard to do properly. I was totally prevented from doing the group practice on Saturday through the actions of two other people. I was swimming in daydreams and stress all last week and over the weekend. It's better today, but I lost last week and I missed out on getting to the group place.

Then, I had another upsetting dream that is trying to make me think that the work I am doing because of what I'm learning here is earning me entrance rights to hell. The devil himself was in my dream. I know I can't tell details, but he did not look like the devil in traditional sense, but I knew beyond a doubt who he was. I'm assuming this is ego too. So, on one hand I have excitement about progressing spiritually and on the other, I'm getting dire warnings. It's very conflicting and confusing. I'm also assuming though, that my consciousness is not awake enough to be invovled in any of these thoughts, emotions or experiences. So, why would they be so contradicing?

So, I need to make myself get back to things on an even deeper level this time. I'm not buying the devil & hell thing anymore. I'll just record the dream and take it as symbols to be used later and not a warning to stop this type of practice. I wouldn't stop anyway.

Dusty

Hello again,
It is great to see your enthusiasm for the Inner Work and for your wish to make real internal changes and progress spiritually. I can relate to your excitement and enthusiasm, as I felt the same way when I first found Gnosis, it completely changed the way I looked at life and myself in general. It was really profound and I am grateful for receiving these teachings.
As you learn about the work you come to realise that there are 'good' egos as well, egos that 'love' Gnosis and everything related to it. It is part of our psychological make-up until we completely erradicate these elements from within, althought hey may seem useful and good, they are still egos and have a small percentage of our consciousness trapped within.
Yes, they are very deft at preventing us from doing what we need to do. This is why the study of the details is so vitally important, and why the Masters stress this point to us over and again. If we can spot those small thought and emotions that rise and start getting upset or anxious or stressed about a situation before it even happens etc, then we can avoid their ultimate goal which is to prevent us from our goals. So for example, on the weekend you felt overcome with certain emotions and many thoughts so then internally you did not feel in a position to practice or could not concentrate, etc. This is how we are prevented from doing what we need to do. If we can spot the details, the sutle thoughts then we can eventually get rid of them and we will be free to continue on our path which allows us to do the practices that we need, with no internal negativity to stop us.
the subconscious is a tricky thing and the egos will bring up things to mislead and trick us. You are right in not revealing too much of your dreams as they are very intimate and personal. I think your decision to simply take this as a learning is the right way forward.
Once we gain more experience of Gnosis we can become stronger and better able to differentiate from the true light and the confusion of the egos.
I wish you all the best in your path ahead.
Patricia

Hey Dusty,
I agree with Patricia Its great that you are so keen, your enthusiasm will lead to some great new experiences that you will always take with you. :-)
And as it has been said, finding the triggers will help you a lot. An example that comes to mind now is with music, if i hear a song a couple of times, and it starts to cycle in my head, its really hard to stop, making it hard to concentrate and be aware, unless i recognise it early and stop it in its tracks.

About your dream, did you read Belzebuub's story? on the page titled the first year of gnosis there is a reference to seeing the devil as a reflection, what you said reminded me of it, the symbolism could be similar.
A lot of the time it can be the subconscious throwing an assortment of scenarios too. But your intuition will know best :-)
Good luck
Chris

Hi there,

..."if i hear a song a couple of times, and it starts to cycle in my head,"

Me too. it can be especially hard being a musician.

Dusty, things are always confusing until we realize the perspective we are trying to figure them out with is wrong, skewed, or blinded.

Because gnosis has an occulted psychological nature it's extremely hard most the time, but when I personally make revelations or realize certain insights, everything is extremely simple.

Most people's minds are not their own and they play games with us and all of our "I's."

Those "I" can make anyone believe anything. Whenever I had made the mistake of beleif or doubt, I would become stuck. If you beleive anything that your intellect can conjure then you're stuck and not in the moment. If you believe OR DOUBT anything that anyone says, even if it's Aries/Samael, Belzebuub, or anyone else, then you are STUCK.

What I realized is that every moment is an opportunity to work but you have to make that choice. Be selfless, or express selfishness and feed emptiness.

And no man hath ascended up to heaven, but he that came down from heaven, even the Son of man which is in heaven.

And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of man be lifted up.

--Jesus, from John 3:13-14

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Let him who seeks not cease seeking until he finds, and when he finds he shall be troubled, and when he has been troubled he shall marvel and he shall reign over the totality and find repose.

--Jesus, from The Gospel of Thomas

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It might help to understand when Samael calls it by the singular "pluralized" Ego. Egos are all part of the Ego. They are called the "self-willed" in the Pistis Sophia. It would be good to reflect on the meaning of the word. Also to reflect on "Who am I?" What is it that's separate from the egos?

If you can imagine a world of thought and emotion. Now imagine a vehicle, a very precious vehicle capable of interacting in the physical world. So in this world of thought and emotion we have the Consciousness, and then also all these other things, anger, pride, envy, etc. There is the real you, the Consciousness, simple and pure, who wishes to drive this vehicle to bring good into the world, to bring simplicity and love and humility into the world. But every time he tries to get in the vehicle, someone else, let's say anger pushes in front to solidify its own existence, he wants to be someone, something, he has come into being to beg for existence, to grasp for control, to drive this vehicle and feel like he is something special. Egos are all about self, that's all they're interested in, they want control, and they want to solidify their own existence. This is why the only way to rise, is to DIE. The Spirit has Life through death, because to grasp for existence, to grasp for life, to grasp for identity, is the roll of the egos. They play a roll in the animal kingdom, because they are of the world. But, as Jesus says, That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.

Hey Dusty,

I just wanted to add to this, that it's precisely this that the Work with the Death is about. Understanding the egos, why they manifest, what food they eat, etc., being aware during the day to observe them when they try to manifest. Meditating on them, praying for help to understand and overcome them, etc. They are a part of us, and it's really a war we must declare, then be prepared for battle. Like Samael says, be as aware as a "watchman in the time of war."

Thanks for your support Patricia & ChrisP.

I read that on Belzebuub's page. I guess it could be a similar situation, I'm not sure. I don't reallly fully understand or have a feeling for it right now.

I know fully what you mean about songs. I have one for everything anyone says to me or any situation I find myself in. For example, one day a couple of weeks ago, I was outside and a giant bumble bee started chasing me. Immediately, flight of the bumble bee came into my head. Try getting that out, it's horrible. lol

Dusty

Hi Jim,

Thanks for your reponse.

Also to reflect on "Who am I?" What is it that's separate from the egos?

This is the real dilemna right now. What are we made of? Ego, Consciousness. They both drive the vehicle that thinks and has a personality. The egos block us from realizing who we really are? That's why I'm having such a hard time. I guess I have to quit thinking about it for now and wait for the Gnostic Wisdom course.

I hope you're here when my ego starts that class. It's really trying to block me. I was driving today, practicing awareness. I had one of those really quick blips where you really feel it and fear immediately came in. It gave me a physical sensation in my emotional center. It was all very, very quick. But, I caught it and it took the awareness away just as fast. The good thing is that I had two quick blips today. I've never had that.

What stage are you at? What do you do and how do you handle the practices? Have you killed your ego?

And, thanks for the words of Jesus. I actually half understand those passages. lol
Dusty

HI Apakhana,

I understand what you are saying about belief or doubt. When I first came here, I had my beliefs surrounding Jesus and that did kind of keep me stuck. I doubted the intentions of the teachings here. Thank goodness something kept me here and allowed me to progress. I guess I doubted my doubt and beliefs.

At this point I am just ready to fully give to the practices. I even used the conjuration Belilin that I refused to use before. I also am using all the mantras now too. At first, I believed that they were evil or tools to call on evil spirits. I believed that this website was a tool to lure people away from God. I was a very rude guest.

So, I think what you are saying is that you just have to go into it with no expectations really. Not to prove or disprove, but just to experience and learn.

I agree that every moment is an opportunity to learn....every moment. I am trying my best to do that. I really do put in that effort. It's great to talk to other people who are doing the same.

Thanks for your support,
Dusty