am i doing anything wrong?

Hey jahfonde,
If you want to focus on changing you do it! thats great that you have that initiative. Once you lose that initial get go as it is discussed in the courses entropy will pull you back, is the same with anything you apply yourself to, physical exercise, learning an instrument, anything. After the initial excitment of learning something new, it becomes old and boring, and harder to keep going. ultimately we have to apply ourselves and keep pushing this is the only way we get better.
The only way is to keep repeating until you see improvment, and if you keep on you will get better, and recieve more strength for doing it.
Id say the overall lack of interest is just the egos coming in and distracting you from achieving anything significant,
Keep up with the concentration and astral practices and you will get there :) There are different practices you could try to get better, but consistency will help you improve.
Make a schedule of practices to stick to, that will help
Let us know how you go after two weeks.

Hello there Jahfonde,
Sorry to hear that you are feeling so low at present. However, as Chris says, what you are feeling is to be expected after the inital enthusiasm for a new activity has died out.
In regards to the Inner Work on ourselves there can be many moments when we feel like this and in order to overcome these feelings and an apparent lack of motivation we need to keep pushing forward, even though we may not feel like it at the time. It is our egos that do not want us to continue and progress, not the Essence, but in the beginning we will be subject to these heavier states because that is part of our psychological make-up.
But do not dismay, just like you many of us have experienced that feelings and felt as confused as you. You need to get back into your routine of practices and stick to them. And most of all ask for help and understanding from your Divine Parents, they will assist you to move forward and as you overcome this moment of entropy you will gain strength and and understanding of what is required to carry out this work.
I wish you all the very best at this time and remember, we need to do things even though we do not want to.
Warm regards,
Patricia

thanks chris p.

patricia and chris, but would it be a good idea for me to take a break, like would that put my mind back into focus, or is would it completely corrupt me?
i really need a break, i do.
but i dont want to do it if it is wrong.

Jahfonde,
If by break you mean time out from your regular routine of going to your place of study and doing the activities that you are required to do, then yes, of course, we all need to take breaks. But in terms of the inner work, taking a break, so to speak, can mean going backwards. If you do have the opportunity to take time out for yourself then may I suggest going for awareness walks, listening to some uplifting and inspiring music, reading some of the the Masters' books, etc.
The inner work is not like other things in life. Once we create a momentum it is important to keep adding to it so that we do not undo all that we have achieved.
As with all things we need to learn from our own experiences in life and this will show us the way forward. Sometimes we need to make mistakes in order to understand what it is that we need to do next time the same situation appears.
All the best,
Patricia

That feeling, like you need a break, is just an ego. If you push past it you will reach new levels within yourself.
To take a break would not corrupt you. some do take time out. It will be harder to come back and get momentum again.

Ultimately what ever time we have now we should make the most of, i mean realistically say in a year from now would you still want to be trying to project or actually projecting on a regular basis?
This can be achieved through persistant efforts.

Everything is a choice, we can choose to do practices and try hard. Or we can choose to do practices sometimes and move slowly, or not at all.

You obviously have the strength to continue, so i would make the most of it and fight on. Otherwise it could be a lot harder later if laziness gets the better of you.
This i learnt from personal experience.
Good luck jahfonde

Hi Jahfonde
I can relate to that feeling of tiredness and of needing to take a break and be alone.

If by taking a break, you mean physically, going away and spending time alone, then no harm in it if that is what you want.

Taking a spiritual break though, can be not so good. Stopping the practices and taking a break from the work has in the past, led me to lose complete interest in the work and has made me forget what it was I was working towards and made me lose all spiritual yearning. Not something I would recommend at all.

One thing to look at might be why you feel the need for a spiritual break? What egos are behind that? Are you forcing yourself to go too fast with things and is that building up a resistance? Slow and steady wins the race!

Also, with regards to what is happening to you and why you have lost all motivation and interest in life, that is something that you need to investigate on a personal level, to see what is happening internally and externally before you start feeling that way and what contributes to that. I used to feel that way a lot and for me, it was depression, negative low states, a lot of fear and a feeling that I had no control over my own life and future.

Cheers
a.

thanks every one, all such good replys, how ever some of you may have slightly mis interpreted what i ment,
i entirely ment break in a sense of, school, everyone, everything.

and i really just want to focus on changing, and i cant do that when stupid school gets in my way.

id much rather devote my life to saving others and myself, from negativity, like becoming a monk, or a shaman or something, probably shaman because thats more connected to me racially, but any way, thanks guys.

Hi Jahfonde
I wouldn't recommend dropping out of school, if that is what you meant. You may regret it later.

You can be a part of life, engage with life and the world and still be spiritual.
a.

no i do not meen dropping out of school.
nor do i plan on it.