Looking within, my thoughts about self-observation
Hello Everyone,
just one picture this time...
First have thought to put it in the forums but then changed my mind...so here it is, in my blog.
I like a lot this image of Saint Joseph, Terror of Demons, it’s inspiring for me to see this firm stand against all negativity, be it something “negative” like wrath, or “positive”, like pride.
These demons seem to show the human face expressions and the body postures while being affected by one of the certain egos, those so-called 7 deadly sins:
LUST, GLUTTONY, GREED, SLOTH, WRATH, ENVY, PRIDE.
Gnosticism teaches, and it is relatively easy to see it with self-observation that there are so many variations of those 7 deadly sins, isn't it?
By looking within, it could be possible to see as well, that there are not just 7 egos, but there are whole 7 “legions” of egos.
From what I can perceive, so many egos constantly try to catch my attention and "jump into" my psyche, have a meal from my energy, and force my mind and my body to think and act in a specific animalistic way, corresponding to a particular nature of that specific ego and details of circumstances, until some other ego won’t "push it away" and manifest in its place…
This constant internal struggle for supremacy between egos leaves no place for peace within, for me.
Tried to analyze what had seen with self-observation…one of interesting realizations was that while I has done some work in a certain areas, I tend to never observe a certain egos, somehow... always tricked by them and in some way believing that “they are not egos”, that it is really "me", "I", who is thinking, looking, acting, etc.
For example, used to believe that I am a very humble person because usually I tried to act humbly and many people were admitting it; while actually; what has happened really, I realized, was my failure to observe egos of pride. My fake humbleness was simply an attempt to demonstrate to others superiority, impress others, "See, how humble I AM?, caused by egos of pride.
I really like what Samael Aun Weor wrote about it in “Revolutionary Psychology”:
“An ancient legend has it, that Aristophones wanting to show his wisdom and humility, wore an old tunic full of patches and holes, and held a baton of philosophy in his right hand and went along the streets of Athens… It is said that when Socrates saw him coming he exclaimed with a great voice, “Oh Aristophanes, your vanity can be seen through the holes of your clothing!”
So here are some of "my thoughts about self-observation", however, another thing is... how easy it is sometimes to get trapped by egos in intellectual centre, and instead of actually observing within, think about self-observation. Don’t you find it?
Belzebuub explained how this trap works in his Tip for Self-Observation, for those who have not seen it already.
If anyone has any comments about thoughts here, or that photo I've made, bring them in, please.
I think that sharing and cooperation can be helpful for many of us who are interested to change internally and to become much more spiritual.
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Goodmorning my friend from
Goodmorning my friend from Greece,
such a nice photo thanks for sharing :)
I would like to share my thoughts and experiences with you, I am also a prisoner of my personality, and self observation really helps.
Let's see, for example: I read your post, I want to reply, my enthousiasm is so strong that I actually don't remember myself tapping on the keyboard. My enthousiasm makes me think what I want to write, I do not concetrate to what I am actually doing. I forget about myself.
Another example. I eat. Food tastes good. The better it tastes the more difficult for me to actually have control over my hands (they obey my gluttony, lol), I don't even feel myself chewing the food. If I think that I observe myself, I am not there, because I cannot think and chew at the same time, can I?
So basically, self observation is about experience. You observe, you can feel yourself, then you can control. You don't judge with your mind, your mind won't tell you the truth, your mind will try to mislead you, Don't forget, the way you judge yourself is the way you judge others.
What is humility? Our mind can understand it once we feel it. But when we keep on acting thinking about it, well, it is a good way to know we are not humble. Humility, as far as I has experienced it, doesn't mean to act in a certain way. It comes from the head, the knowledge of equality, free will, and it is transformed into selfless love. It does not have to do with a certain way of speaking, acting or any other kind of animation. It has to do with consciousness. If someone looks down to you, you dont put your head down to show you are humble. You need strenght to continue looking that same person in the eyes and see yourself in him, understand him and accept him. This is so difficult because our personality always thinks we are superior, better, we know. But real knowledge, that comes from consciousness can transform us, and clear our hearts and minds.
My friend Vadim, you have already experienced that, you can see that liar- the mind. The mind cares only about animation. But animation, external world, is just an illusion right? So why we should keep on taking advices about the way we should act? If you see a man shouting to a woman for instance, and the woman instead of putting her head down she replies in a clear way and then turns her back and leaves, what would your mind think? Let me tell you about mine :P---> "Oh she isn't humble", "He is so cruel", "They don't love each other" etc, etc. Where is the truth? Two persons animating, right? What does my mind know? Nothing. What happened between them? Do I know the answer? Should I really care? Does severity mean lack of love? Nope. Does cowardice mean humbleness? Nope. There is a middle way. Everything in it's right place. So let us forget about the appearances and focus on ourselves. The world appears the way our mind thinks. If we see a smile with (I don't know the word, I hope it makes sense :P) reservation, we will lose the smile.
So to end my post, (I talk too much :P), simplicity and mathematical approach can help. 1+1=2, why make it so complicated? Let us gather our will, let us focus on ourselves, that has helped me a lot. And as you have wisely said "I think that sharing and cooperation can be helpful". Let us be one. Our force united.
Live free, enjoy the moment, love :)
PS: My english is not that good I hope it makes sense , lol :P
Thanks Vadim. I like the
Thanks Vadim. I like the picture a lot, and the observations, especially about humility... Thanks for sharing.
Jim B.
Good observations, Vadim.
Good observations, Vadim. And good observations, Jenny. I guess there is not much to add to all that. :-)
Thanks so much for your
Thanks so much for your comments, Jenny, Jim and Alex!
I can certainly relate to what you, Jenny pointed out, that experience is so needed to see all these psychological defects and that the mind, the liar, is one of the great obstacles for self-observation and internal work.
I really, really like to read, (when there is minimal amount of time, I still try to read something besides practices), especially works from the Masters, and Samael Aun Weor explained it so well in "Great Rebellion", Chapter 28, on example of Great Drama of the Christ.
In that chapter he wrote about the Three Traitors, which had betrayed the Christ and work in psyche of each of us, who has not reached awakening.
These traitors are: DEMONS of DESIRE, MIND and ILL-WILL.
That's what Samael Aun Weor wrote about Pilate:
"Pilate, the demon of the mind, always washes his hands; always declares himself innocent; is never guilty; constantly justifies himself to himself and to others, seeks to avoid and to escape in order to avoid his own responsibilities; etc. "
From my intellectual understanding of it, before Christ can ressurect in all his power and grace,
He has to pass over so many sufferings, I don't think I can even imagine, because of these Demons of DESIRE, MIND and ILL-WILL.
With self-observation we can see these "demons" operating within us, if we really look inside. And, then, can work from there.
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Now, I just would like to say that I was inspired to write this blog after reading these previous blogs from Jasmin and Jim.
"Prayer in the Work"
"Watch and Pray"
All the strength with spiritual work to ---> Everyone who is interested in it!!!
Some really beautiful
Some really beautiful artwork there Vadim. This is a place you know?
Yes, I know it, Jim. It's
Yes, I know it, Jim. It's from Saint Leon of Westmount church (Westmount is one of the cities here, the part of what is commonly known as Montreal). Most of the time l' Eglise Saint Leon de Westmount is empty and available for visit, and it has a very beautiful frescoes and amazing stained glass artwork made by Guido Nincheri.
Guido Nincheri studied in Florence, Italy but later brought his skills to Canada where he was reffered to as "Canada's Michelangelo".
I don't know if Guido Nincheri understood all that symbology, or maybe it was more intuitive, based on his knowledge of old Italian masterpieces and their methods of work, plus his own mastery of skills and talent, but anyway, his artwork seems to be full of symbolism and is very inspiring for me.
Also, in that place I like a lot VIRTUES and VICES woodwork on the doors (made by Alviero Marchi): RELIGION is compared (opposed to?) with SUPPERSTITION, STRENGTH with FEAR, TEMPERANCE with DRUNKENESS...
here is CHARITY vs ANGER, Caritas and Ira.
CHARITY holds a lamp, it looks so nice and neat, there is a light around it...while anger is all messy, has nothing to give and seems to tear something (is it a part of own clohes?) in front of the eyes, like not to see the truth...
When I see it, I try to listen to intuition and also this image brings to me different mental associations. One of them was with this saying from "The Gospel of Thomas"
33. Jeshua says, "What thou shall hear in thy ear proclaim to other ears from your rooftops. For no one kindles a lamp and sets it under a basket nor puts it in a hidden place, but rather it is placed upon the lampstand so that everyone who comes in and goes out will see its light."
Some thoughts also...while
Some thoughts also...while that image is called IRA (meaning "Wrath" in Latin), maybe it should be called AVARITIA ("Greed" in Latin)?
Then it can explain better while it holds own clothes like that...
As egos of greed get eliminated, freed particles of consciousness bring altruism, a wish to give others freely and generously, to help, to share.
But also, from what I understand, Love is a part of Charity too, and wrath is opposite to love, like in that answer had been found by Samael Aun Weor for the question asked to him by Abbot Alfonso Luis Constants in the astral.
The question was: what is the most monstrous thing that exists on Earth?
It's in "The Mystery of Golden Blossom", Chapter 17
The images inspired
The images inspired me.
Thanks!
Hey Vadim... you're very
Hey Vadim... you're very inspiring. I want to know more about myself. I've been trying hard for all of my life to be a good christian - but feeling that my belief have faded more and more over the years. I couldn't comprehend all the things i've read about science, different religions, occultism, astral projection... but for the last month things have started to come together for me... I'm not looking for a new religion or trying to make Astral-projection a new religion to follow - but it makes me want to live a life with even more focus on my own behaviour and knowing that there really is a greater scheme.
What i really wanted to comment on was the thing about Aristophones... The thing you wrote made me think (?! : )) I've read on this forum that being helpful is going to give you helpfulness in return and perhaps persons from the astral would even help you project more easily. So I've been helpful... lots really ; ) but with that in mind i have a hidden agenda... maybe i only help because I want to be helped in return. My question is: When I know that i can get help in return, how can my "helping" ever be "true"?
That's fantastic, Ralph!
That's fantastic, Ralph! You're so welcome.
Hey Skywalker,
I am so glad to hear about your progress.
For the last few years I've met so many people whose lives changed dramatically after learning and applying the techniques taught here in the courses from Gnosticweb. I am one of them definitely, really looking forward to go further.
Regarding you question, having knowledge doesn't mean necessarily that subconscious elements use that knowledge.
After a certain level, practitioners of Gnosis know and understand that by helping others spiritually they would be helped in return spiritually and they need that help badly, it's one of the main key-components of spiritual path to help others...imagine being helped by Angels, guided by Awakened Divine Beings?
As many of us have different skills, we try to match them with available opportunities, trying to help as much as it is possible: with teaching on-line and in the centers, translation, maintenance of Gnostic Study centers, center's cafeterias, advertising, postering, donations, technical help for the web-sites, answering posts in the forums, organizing Skype talks, retreats, passing information about the courses to our friends who can be interested, etc., etc, etc...
Certainly as Gnostic practitioners do it, we get bombarded by thoughts and emotions caused by greed, fear, pride, that hidden agenda you've mentioned, etc., they never stop attacking us, so we try to stay detached from it and eliminate all those egos whenever they manifest, in all their forms...some win, some fail.
Some go down but then stand up and move forward with more strength, some fall down while believe they go up, some always go in circles and never reach anywhere...all kind of things happen.
It's a real inner war which is going on.
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This is just my personal opinion.
Gnosticweb courses (http://www.gnosticweb.com/courses) cover this material much better and in more depth.
Thanks for your kind words about inspiration, this is something we try to share here with each other and everyone!
Feel free to join the team!!!