Is Heartache an Ego?

Hi there,

We have emotions and we have an emotional body, but the identities can manipulate them and we are sometimes unable to control them.

I don't think heartache is an ego, it is the removing of an attachment that causes that feeling. One should examine why they were so attached and the nature of that attachment itself.

When we loose something, we feel a loss. Some of it is normal but my perspective is kinda harsh based on my own life.
How many people selfishly mourn their own loss when someone dies? Or when a romantic attachment ends? Or get mad when a personal item or possesion is ruined?
Who would even realize this if suffering through it had never occured? How many people still don't wake up and thus continue to suffer it? !

I don't think anyone is destined for anyone else either. That is an idea someone came up with and not a reality.
If there exists and affinity (like gnosis!) or some magnetic attraction, then two people come together but it's not pre-ordained (unless you're forced to marry like in some cultures) by an anthropomorphic God that plays matchmaker.

You can live an ordinary life while on such an esoteric path, just your definition of ordinary isn't the same as the rest of the world.

Love has an extremely important role in applying Alchemy to the sexual energies like you mentioned.

But I still don't know why we can't destroy egos on our own...
Why would we need another person to practice alchemy with to destroy our own creation? We made egos from our own emptiness, why can't we destroy them with virtue and diss-association?

Hello Beyonder,
I know what you mean, life is very strange that way and it can be quite confusing sometimes. All of us here who have decided to take up the inner work upon ourselves have noticed that the ordinary life does not what it is cut out to be. All life really seems to be now a days is a big entertainment world, a fun fair. It’s too bad not everyone realizes that this is not everything and how real happiness is located outside of this, it such a waste really just small fling , passing away, it comes and it goes. It’s not real , just temporary. Someone once told me they feel like they are a kid on a marry go round and when we look at a marry go round there are kids that are lost in the excitement and then there is always that one kid who is crying to get off, she said she feels like that kid. : )
I’m in my 20’s as well so I know what you mean. I personally like to learn how to be spiritual and move further away from the mundane sad life of the average person who seeks out pleasure form moment to moment but inevitably lands in pain, with no escape over and over again.
If you are doing what you can to change by taking up the techniques taught on the courses you will find a partner to do the spiritual work with as I have and many others. It’s something very natural, but patience is necessary.
Everything that takes us away from the peace of the present moment is an ego.
Hope this helps,
Ruben

Thanks for the replies.

Marry-go-round!, good analogy :-) . Its how I've felt most of my life.

I would similarly feel like that, when me and my friends would go to disco, and I wouldn't get what is so fun about it. The few times I've been to disco (so few, I only remember the disco we went to on graudation day with friends), I would want to leave, while friends seemed to have so much fun. I would feel like that when we went to see a basketball game and/or concert. While everybody was screaming with fascination, I wouldn't get the point.

Regards,

Beyonder

Beyonder,

I would say it may be more than a case of mourning the loss of someone that you loved, there are people who come into our lives who deeply touch us in unimaginable ways, it may be a friend or someone whom we thought we fell in love with but reality may be is it's the "beauty" he/she carries within that we fell in love with something that our very soul instantly remember. I'm talking about people we met when we were younger and people were less wordly and unspoiled. For instance, we knew and remembered someone this way and several years he/she could still be the same person and you still feel love, but what if she or he is not anymore? time passes and people change, you may be surprised with yourself you no longer feel the same way because you don't see anymore the quality you fell in love with. I don't know if this is an ego, probably you still feel attachment, perhaps you regret not having the guts to tell your friend about your feelings... well you don't know where she is and that is past. what you have is the present and the future and it's in your hands... grab it.

goodluck :-)

Molly

Being is magic. But how one could understand it, if one couldn't feel it's magic?
How can i see myself without the use of a mirror? How can I see if I am beautiful or ugly? How can I see if my clothes are dirty and change them? I use a mirror right?
So when it comes to my inner self, where is that mirror? It is the presence of the other beings, but i cant' feel it because my inner eyes are close. So that is what we all try to do. Open our inner eyes so we can discover our true self and stop suffering.
We are surrounded by other beeings, and we are given every moment an opportunity to discover something new.
Having a good time in life is also a gift, it is like giving a child who works hard every day a toy. As long as it doesn't forget his homework and spend all day playing :P.
Embrace pain my friend, in my country we say "a good captain learns when big waves come". It is hard to open our inner eyes, we suffer and cry, but we want to drive a big ship right?
Have fun and enjoy every minute of your life, all the lessons and all the toys :)

Hello Beyonder,

I so identify with your feelings as I have lived them to some degree my self. I too have loved this girl in high school and never told her. I was very shy my self and even to this day it takes a while to open up to strangers. Internet is healing that to much degree since I am not being directly identified when I speak my mind.

I have since learned through Gnosis that what causes me to be shy is my ego of pride. I feared rejection, as lots of young people do. I feared that I was not compatible, I was not good enough, that she deserved better then me. So I never asked, and that is the real story behind my own suffering in the past.

Then I had plenty of dates later in my life and learned through those experiences that I was very jealous and possessive - again ego of pride wanted to control and own. Since then I came to understand my self better and with conscious effort attempted to control this beast with in me, but it is still there. Then I finally have married and have kids. But life was not what I would imagine. There is no such thing as planed life. Each lifetime is an evolution. The only guarantee you have is that it is full of obstacles. These obstacles will be there until we unite with the absolute Sun - God. Me and my wife are at cross roads. My heart wants gnosis, my wife see it as rubbish and wants nothing to do with it. So I pray everyday for her to see the wisdom. You are so blessed to found Gnosis so young. For you have a chance to find your goddess wife and walk together towards salvation. I have commitments that I have agreed to and will live up to as my father did not live up to his. For life to be evolutionary we must break the chains of our inheritance.

Then I have found spirituality and read about Mystic Christian healers in Cyprus Greece and was instantly taken by the narrations of the healer as he spoke with love, the likes of which I have not seen before. I am inspired to quest for this kind of love.

My quest have taken me in to a world of esoteric knowledge and Gnosis, and this site. here I have learned how to find out who I am. I also found what I have very little of and that is consciousness - the source of true unconditional love (the one that Christ have, that the healer had).

When we love trough our consciousness we will ask that right person with out hesitation and give adoration filled with true love. We will not interfere with the one we love that is already in relation ship, but help this person from a distance with our love and wishes of well being and let them live. We will not suffer any pain or resentment or will we dwell on it, because we are one with the source of love and can give it freely to anyone that needs it. This will be the future of those who take up this work. This is my desire, my goal. The rest is perishable, temporary world - impermanence.

Wishing you all a great spiritual morning.

Hello Currently, Thank you for your story. I will pray for hope your wife realizes that honoring your wishes to follow correct action as defined by modern gnosis means to put her limiting dis-beliefs behind her to Love you and embrace your descision. I think the hardest thing to do for someone like me is to learn to Love, and understand what real Love is.

Selfishness gets in the way of progress so much, with anything really. I don't see the point in wasting time with anyone that isn't going down the same road as me.

The hardest thing seems to be finding someone that is self-less enough to embrace the keys of modern gnosis; The kind of woman that understands alchemical science and actually wants to give up enjoying the usual identity with desire is something I mistakenly think is probably not going to happen for me, but such an expectation is probably one more limitation or step back towards such a goal anyway. I learned to not accept that I think I "know" what will happen in the future.

Like I said though, I understand creating evolved vehicles for our consciousness but I still don't know why we can't destroy egos on our own.

It's my hope that everything will be provided if I'm doing things right which it seems as if I am. Faith can be found after passing tests and trials and seeing that others who are farther along recieved similar results from them. That faith brings much needed strength.

Thank you for your prayers Apakhana, I respect and honor my wife's free will. She is a happy, loving being, and therefore has no need to seek change, not yet.

One thing that is continually said here by teachers and the master is when you work on the path, the opportunities to meet like minded persons will more likely increase.

There is person who you and I must meet in this life. If we are patient and pray for this, it will happen. But we must be open to change and even leave our locale when internally called, then our prayers will be realized. It is for this reasons centers and retreats are so important. There you find people that are like minded as you are, who already have accepted this path and need no further conviction. The rest is just personal and biological compatibility.

From what I understand about my nature, lust is the underlying ego from which all other egos emanate (feel free to correct me). The only one way you can conquer a mountain is by climbing it. The same goes with this ego of lust. The work is not about an abundance of sensory pleasure - it is work - a conscious, deliberate work. The fire of attraction brings out the egos in to the spot light, with our consciousness, love, wisdom, and willpower we are able to bring this beast under control and with the help of divine we will overcome. In the fire of attraction the full energy of creation is present (the law opposites, plus and minus neutralize each other, thus creating 3rd energy = neutral energy . physics teach us: we cannot create energy, we can only transform it). It is this energy from which all was created. So we are climbing on the ladder of our nature. Law of attraction brings us to lower dimensions and it also takes us to higher dimensions. It all depends how we use this energy.)

One thing I have learned, is that I was attempting to do this work with an Ego (pride), as I have not realize it taking control of my thoughts. It was banning other egos from existence, thus I was feeding it, while allowing other egos to hide. When egos hide, one cannot observe them, and never learn nothing about them. They just remain until their time comes again. But if we judge them (action of pride), instead of understanding why they exist in us (with forgiveness and love), they will hide again. In the light of our love they will trust us and will show them selves to us. Each ego harbors existential wisdom, in order to free our selves we must understand what they did for us, then we can exist with out their function. Then we can release them of their duties (disintegration), and take their responsibilities for our well being with our consciousness.

Wishing you all a great spiritual morning.

Everything is pretty simple and realistic, the hard part is finding the resources to exact the sacrifices needed.

..."From what I understand about my nature, lust is the underlying ego from which all other egos emanate"...

Me too. Lust is desire itself. There are more facets to this than stars in the sky.

I understand the transforming energy principle. It just doesn't resonate well with me that someone needs another person or an external source to save themselves. That could be impressions on me made earlier though. I found alot of truth in the Judaic systems that always play into the principle that we are born with everything we need inside us to evolve.

The principle of Alchemy comes from one of the texts where Jesus Christ explain to one of his disciples (sorry I forgot right now which one) how the creation came forth.

my words how I remember the story:

"In the beginning was one, this great one willed another thus the thought have created one bellow the higher most, and so on. All was created to this point only under the wish of the higher most.

One of the lower goddesses have created her own mate and procreated with out the higher most approval (beginning of fall in to self will? beginning of lust?). The offspring is a demigod for who's purpose we were created. This demigod have created beings bellow it and proclaim its self the only God (source of pride).

The goddess have repented to the higher most and it was decided that she will give her power to the new being that will be made in the image of the demigod, and tricking the demigod to blow his own powers in to this new being (human) which would become greater then the demigod.

The demigod was then tricked in to allowing a being to be made in his image that would only serve him. He was tricked to blow life in to this being, thus giving its powers to it. After realizing what he had done, he split the being in to 2 opposites, a man and a woman to diminish its stature. Thus splitting this created being's God power between them.

That is why it takes a man and a woman to procreate. It is only in this union that the laws of creation are present, when we abstain from our programed nature, we can use this pure creative energy to create a being with the full God powers (or we just pass a test and the higher governors will allow us to climb higher. it could still be symbolic interpretation.)."

The one thing is that Samael speak of this as a central point of all his talks and teachings, thus I think that he have verified this him self. The symbols are there from the history and what he talks about makes sense with the symbols of alchemy. But there is still only one way to find out -try it for your self with your loved one.

Wishing you all a great spiritual morning.