masturbation/depression/pranayama worries

Hi Foxtse,

My experience may help if I might share,

The suffering through the "dark night" is not necessarilly a short period, it could be a long, long time in some cases (me!) and when you think you've come out of it with some spiritual understanding, you might find yourself right back in it in order to apply the newfound insights.

We would never get this chance to exact change if we didn't suffer, and our minds compound it even further.

I don't wouldn't worry about dangers until you know for sure in your own experience that they actually even exsist.

Reagarding your problem:
Your body needs food to sustain itself, but does not need to spill the "hermetic glass." If pranayama isn't doing anything, I wouldn't waste any more time with it.

In any case, your problem with lust is psychological and can not be rationalized with the intellect.
That doesn't mean abandon all logic.
It means we need to wake up.

If we watch with vigilance we can see the point in your psyche where these psychological demons actually enter the mind and try to manipulate us. The egos tell us we don't need to fight hard or try to justify doing something "just this once", but then life pulls you back into it.

You've picked a hard path brother, we all have, and it ain't easy. You're not alone though. Keep fighting the good fight! Don't let life suck you in.

!

Hi foxtse,

With this, as with anything internal, it is you who has the power to change. I think what makes it so hard to fight with the egos of lust is that we have to be on many fronts at the same time. This is because since all egos are related to lust, then when we forget ourselves and feed egos of pride or anger for example this can automatically give rise to lust in another moment. It's all connected.

What has been of help to me is to really ground myself around the spiritual work. The most important thing seems to be the inner determination to get rid of the egos and reach for something better. I understand in times of temptation all those ideas and even our spiritual experiences may seem unimportant and minimal, but fortunately we have the capacity to make a choice and if we take the right one we are rewarded and may feel the change inside.

Practising the third key, I believe, is something one just can't go without in overcoming egos, because by giving we take part of the giving and receiving circle. This helps us to develop compassion and empathy towards other people and increases our own understanding.

Looking for inspiration, turning your house into a more spiritual place, doing practices, taking a walk, listening to good music, reading inspiring book...

It seems to me that will power is the most important. The times that I had failed are due to lack of will power, but finding what the will power is made of, what gives it strength, what multiplies it? Maybe you can try to look further into this and see what works for you.

sorry if this is too long and messy.

all the best!

Foxtse,

As Apakhana already stated, this is an extremely difficult work. We can't expect things to be easy.

With regard to your problem, I highly recommend that you ask for help and insights from the divine. I never used to pray much, but now I can see how powerful it really is. There will be times when you are totally lost in the darkness and praying to your divine parents can really lift you out of it.

Strong and concentrated prayer establishes a connection with the divine, which brings about an enormous strength that seems to come from nowhere.

As well as prayer, it will help you to start to gain conscious experiences. Looking back on the last few years of my life, I can definitely say that it was conscious experiences that got me through the tough times.
An experience of inner peace, compassion and true happiness makes one see the illusory nature of the egos. It makes you see how fake and empty they really are.

Kind Regards,

Dave.

This is something I have been thinking about. I regard it as the most difficult temptation. After a long struggle to resist temptation it is still easy to fall back and get lost again. When I have been overpowered by temptation I can feel lost for days after. If you have the will power to resist the selfish temptation you will not be left empty. This is how I see the situation.

It's the same for buying loads of chocolate. Whilst it exists it is tempting to eat. If you eat it all at once you feel sick and then feel lost because there is nothing left. If you never consume the chocolate you can feel good to know that you wont be sick, and you won't experience the loss.

Does what I have said sound strange? I promise myself to study more The Perfect Matrimony. It seems to answer some of my deeper questions.

To me it doesn't sound strange at all, Christopher.

It's really the batlle, the fight against temptations.
When I am victorious, later, I thank myself so much for my efforts, it feels so great to overcome it; if I fail...yes, like you said, that misery can last for days, desires are never, never satisfied, wanting more and more, finally taking away all the freedom and replacing it with negativity.

Better be strong, I find.

Me too, I really like to study Samael Aun Weor's books. They seem to be so full of wisdom and inspire me so much.

It takes a little more than 2 weeks to get over the drive for orgasm, although it comes up periodically after that, especially in situations where it was once habit. Even so, focus on the improvement and not exclusively the result.
-J

Hi Foxte,

I know what you are going through; this ego can sometimes be so strong that it completely overpowers a person. This urge that you feel, which feels overwhelming, is because the ego has already taken enough food to get to that point. It usually begins in the intellectual centre and sexual and emotional centres.

When it grows stronger it builds it's fortress within the instinctive and motoric centres and this is when it is strong enough to almost completely contol a person.

The only way to overcome it, is to fight it by not acting on it and simply observing it in the centres (and if you have the techniques at hand, to disintegrate it).
Not acting on it builds willpower which will grow in time
and so it will we somewhat easier to fight it the next time.

The most important thing though is to understand what this ego wants from you, how it operates and why it can manipulate you like that. Self-observation combined with meditation is a powerful combination to gain understanding. During meditation we can also pray for it's destruction; prayer only can also be a strong tool. Even if we lose battles, this can also add up to the willpower to fight back and overcome it.

If you lose a battle, try not to worry too much about it; just observe yourself and try to gain understanding. The more you worry, the more food the ego's can take and this can make things more difficult.

Strenght.

Follow your instincts. Good luck.

It is interesting to observe that every gnostic student has to pass through this.And if you ask the thousands that have tried to pass it again and again they all have similar answers.
Everybody falls and stands up again and again.We all have the same problems and if you think of this then you see that these problems and the way we face them are part of our connection with each other.
That's why I always feel that a gnostic student is more than a friend.

:)