Hi there,

At least you're aware of what's happening, alot of people don't use that entropy to reflect upon.

I know what you mean. It's easy for me to start the day off good and then find so much opposition in the external world against what I'm trying to accomplish.

It's also easy to let weather and external conditions effect us because our bodies are biologically attunded to the physics of the Earth.
I am going crazy not being able to go outside because it's zero degrees in the Midwest and I spend more time outdoors than inside during the rest of the year. I miss the sun too. Your body also makes vitamin D from our star's sunlight and it's easy to not quite feel right when you lack that.

I never got too much out of prayer because I never understood what I was supposed to be establishing a connection to. Now that I understand it's an internal thing, I "pray" a lot different than the orthodox definition or prayer. That helps me some too like you mentioned but the inner state has more effect.

Creating the right inner state involves alot of intro/retrospection for me and trying to establish a center of conciousness or awareness, - you are familiar with that concept ? SAW promoted it alot.

We all feel entropy, that seems like what you are encountering. It is a type of suffering for me, but I understand how important that suffering is to push me to learn and "wake up."

For me I just work harder at it each time. It seems like things don't get easier, they pretty much don't but I am a happier person fighting to evolve rather than staying in the go with the flow normal life and remaining in ignorance and feeling like no progress is being made.

I don't know if that help at all, but I had to throw in my two cents because I know how it feels to have life suck you down into it.

Hi Josiah,

Sorry for the late reply; I hope this can still be of help to you.

Like Apakhana said, just reading the scriptures, etc. isn't necessarily the best form of prayer because we can sometimes let these become mechanical (this isn’t always the case, though). The best prayer comes from our heart - something spontaneous and simple. If you feel down or feel a lack of strength, just a simple prayer to your Divine Parents can go a long way.

I think beyond being positive, what we really need is to be objective and aware. I'm not saying not to be positive but often when we want to be positive we can look for the wrong type of positive (see next paragraph). In the process we can easily lead ourselves to more negativity.

A tricky thing about feeling down (I'm not sure if this applies in your case but it is useful to mention anyway) is that often our efforts to escape unpleasant feelings are equally destructive to the unpleasant states. It's really easy if we feel depressed to go and eat a bunch of cookies or try to entertain ourselves with hours of TV. But we then aren't actually overcoming that negativity: we are just running to pleasure. And as long as we seek pleasure there will be pain.

There is fortunately peace which is outside of pleasure and pain and we can get that in Awareness. This is the ideal state to be in.

You might consider taking a little time each day to go for a walk and try to be mindful / aware. Just walk. Be aware of your walking, your breathing, the air around you, the sounds, etc. If thoughts come up (worries, songs in your head, images, etc.) let them go; if you feel low states like depression or weakness, let them go. If you find this awareness awkward, just try to be natural with it because it's actually something very simple.

These walks can be useful to learn about awareness - about the bliss of freedom - what it is like to be psychologically clear and free, even if it's only a second at a time, from negativity. Then with these sorts of experiences we can try to live more like that even amidst our daily routines.

This awareness helps a lot to keep peace within even in chaotic events or when dealing with people or bad weather :)

Often things can be very dark but in those times we gotta dig deep and surrender ourselves to the divine will, as you said. We won't be doing this perfectly by any means - mistakes are always made as we struggle to learn. But guaranteed if you keep pushing, you'll start to see things with more light.

All the strength!

Mike

Hi Josiah,

I really like the first line of the psalm of David for tough times when I can remember it. It goes 'The Lord is my sheperd, I shall not want.' If I can, when things get tough and it's easy to react to situations or think things are unfair etc. I find that it helps me to remember that everything that happens in our lives is as a result of Divine Will, and because what's happening in our life has been given to us whether it's good or bad. So we can change the situation if we can and need too, but it's also there because we need it for some reason, to help us move forwards in the long run or to teach us something.

I like Mike's suggestion of an awareness walk. If I have lots of things on my mind it's easy to get lost in thinking and planning in my head while I do other things and then I forget to be aware. So maybe you could try and write things down and plan them out on paper, or spend some time just focussed on making decisions, but then keep going with the rest of the things you need to do in a day and try to stay focussed on what you're doing without thinking about your problems or worrying as much as possible. Try to stay in the present moment.

I also find the practices of analysis on an ego from the Self Discovery course, and meditation on an ego from the Gnostic Wisdom course really helpful for getting the right inner state. If I do it every night it seems to help me focus more during the day, and to remember to work on the egos and my reactions. The practices also help to see when I'm likely to have problems so I'm more prepared to deal with them.

Hopefully you've been able to get over the problems you're having!

Take care,
David

hello josiah,

What works for me is after a hard day is to take a shower and lay down, relax, and just be aware of my thoughts and feelings. Sometimes I fall asleep for half an hour, but after that I feel refreshed.

Peter