Shane Blackman

Shane’s Story

How do you know which way to turn when within there is no signpost? My life lacked anything close to real feelings of peace, harmony, tranquility or joy. Life was vacuous and miserable and I felt surrounded by insane people in an illusory world.

I remember in my teens, I would become so caught up in the anguish of trying to comprehend an answer to the ultimate meaning of life, that I would end up sitting on the grass in the local park for hours in isolated despair. The only thing that would snap me out of it was the family dog. I sometimes felt the simplicity of that Alsatian, who would become so ecstatic and happy at just being in the park impatiently waiting for me to throw the ball, actually kept me alive. Sometimes, with desperate tears running down my face, the dog would sense my despair and come up and drop the ball in front of me and with his pristine healthy wet black nose against my cheeks start licking the tears from my face and say “Don't be so stupid, look around you at the beautiful trees and bushes filled with life and vibrant colour, the beautiful blue sky and puffy white clouds, the crisp fresh air, the grass and the birds, this is paradise ....now...... just throw the ball for me."

Here I was, a human. Overwhelmed by inner, uncontrollable despair and turmoil. The family dog seemed to have a far better deal than what I got. I would say thank you to my dog and envy his simplicity. He didn't have a mind filled with tormenting questions. Life was life, he didn't have the capacity to question it. In a similar way I would envy the people I saw in the world who also seemed to lack that peculiar twist of questioning; questions of existence – that did not seem to enter their minds. The stars and galaxies did not appear to move these people in any way. Some had achieved their aims and fulfilled their simple desires and ambitions – a purpose. Why didn't I have a purpose? Why couldn't anyone give me a purpose and at least explain to me simply and easily what it was?

I kept searching for years because I had to. Something within kept agitating me and I just kept looking. Eventually I found the courses given by The Gnostic Movement. It was these courses that changed the direction of my existence. It was these courses that actually gave me direction. I soon understood why and how it was, that no matter where I went, nor what I did, misery always followed me. These courses gave me the tools to penetrate into my inner world and begin to change myself from the core. With such a change, the perceptions of the physical world also changed and from this began the profound realization that by knowing myself many other pieces of the jigsaw of life began to slot into place. With cosmic truths shaking my inner spiritual consciousness I began to take advantage of life's troubles instead of wishing them away. From these courses I have learned that being human for just one life time is an invaluable opportunity not to be wasted. It can become a bargain with infinite potential.