Your Experiences

Looking Back on Anger

By Lilia
Nicosia, Cyprus

Sometimes we can misunderstand each other when negative psychological states cloud over our minds and hearts. With the help of retrospection, I found out that during these times it’s better to avoid any communication or action…or else we can regret it later…

A while ago, a friend of mine tried to do something good for me, but I didn’t want him to do anything. When I found out that he acted without telling me, I got angry and felt betrayed. While I was in that terrible negative state, I was urged to write a letter and let him know that I was angry and didn’t want to talk to him anymore.

After sending my awful letter, for some time, something inside was bothering me, telling me that I acted in a bad way. Because of my inner-conflict, I decided to retrospect the whole incident to find out what really happened.

During my practice, I realized that I was observing the event with a different perspective! It was as if I was experiencing the whole thing differently. I could see myself in anger, acting in a mechanical way, without considering the other person’s point of view and without realizing that the other person was just trying to act in a friendly way.

I was so shocked to observe my awful thoughts and my emotional reactions during that time. However, most shocking of all was my realization that I destroyed a friendship, because I allowed a negative psychological state to control my thoughts, my feelings, and my actions! As soon as I realized what I had done, I explained what happened and apologized to the person.

This incident with my friend became a lesson that enriched my self-knowledge… thanks to the practice of retrospection!