Hello Dave,

We can only advance so far in the esoteric work without working with Alchemy, so a partner really is needed.

And, as you said, a partner will be provided for us, when we are ready.

The longing for a companion can be both. You can investigate which it is by finding the reason for your longing. If it's because you long to remove your egos and therefore need a loving relationship to do this, then it would probably be coming from your inner Being. The longing could of course also stem from lust, so investigate which it is.

Attraction is possible without the egos, because of the natural magnetization of the two poles.

However, I think it is difficult to begin a relationship without any egos intervening. But eventually, when you're both working on your egos and start working with Alchemy, then the relationship will start to change and blossom into a much more selfless and loving one. Love grows in an Alchemical relationship. This has even been proven by science.

Bottom line is: Both you and your partner will have lots of egos to work with, so you can't really start from a purely selfless starting point. There will be many egos emerging, so keep observing and dying to the egos.

Hello Dave and Christian,

It is better not to jump to the conclusion and accept what the Masters say about some path that they went through where eventually you will get the right partner when you are ready.

The fact is that nither you or me know nothing about it.

All we can do is to be aware, investigate, study our selfs and as we do that see what is what. Otherwise we become fanatical about the whole idea of the path. Maybe it is all wrong, we do not know.

It's one thing to be fanatical, it's another to use common sense.

I think Christian put it best regarding the work on our own egos. If we keep doing that and don't let up things change for us. Naturally our relationships change for the better. So if we meet people and don't forget the work then we know the right thing to do, no matter how difficult it is.

Maybe it will take a long time for some of us. But in the end what is worth it?

All the best Dave.

Hi Jon,

It is great to use common sense, like you said not to forget the Work at all times, doing it without letting things change for us. But this is already fanatical.

Common sense is to question everything without answering it absolutely which is possible in awareness and self-observation.

But if we are trying to be aware and observe our selves while refering this action to the idea of the Path and Work, the work it self will always be conditioned by this ideology. Master Belzebuub mention this right from the begining of his book Gnostic Wisdom, this is fanatism.

It is important if we are to learn and understand whether what he says is true, not to accept nor to reject his teaching, but live with the fact that we do not know the truth which he claims to know. We try and see what happens and then decide our next steps.

This is common sense as I understand it.

Hence we are in agreement.

We are just clarifying this issue without agreeing or disagreeing.

Hey Jon, thanks and i also agree with Christian... With what reference do you mean fanatical? I apply what common sense i do have in these situations, i guess what i was trying to say was is it best to avoid these situations all together for the possibility that you could be playing with fire... I find it interesting observing myself in this situation... In avoiding a relationship developing i find a feeling of frustration and restriction of what i would think is being myself or better said, being free... Investigating this i quarrel between "is this really myself or is the frustration ego driven?" Its almost as if there is a firewall (pardon the punt) restricting anything i say or do...So is this free? or is that my clouded judgement... i guess you put it nicely at the end...What is it worth... the quest for real freedom will always be there, i guess i have to see that for what it is!

I don't think it is bad for a gnostic to start a relation partly out of lust, I think it is just normal common sense.
Also the masters say that falling in love is an ego based thing.
When the relation is there, then the gnosis can start.
Advantage of being single is that you can choose / accept a partner who can like the idea of gnosis.

If you keep on denying partners because you don't want to give in lust, you might likely to end up single till you die, and can only advance up to a certain point.

G'day,

Peter

Hi Dave,

I recently got married (last December) and I found my wife while I was doing the work, maybe I can explain about what happened in my case. It’s a really tough situation to be in wanting a partner, and trying to work out relationship stuff and having to wait for the right person etc, but everything does sort itself out in the end, and there is a massive amount of help that you get for it too.

I think praying to your Divine Parents and the Masters is really important, and watching out for direction in your dreams and astral experiences as well as in your day. Also trying just to be as aware as possible and watching the egos that come up in your dreams so you can see when you’re being pulled in certain directions by them.

If you avoid any kind of interaction with the opposite sex then there's no way you're going to find someone to be with! That said, if you are watching your egos you’ll know if you’re in a situation where you’re playing with fire or where lust is getting involved. I think if you can keep pushing with awareness you’ll be able to answer the other questions you have as well. You have to be active and interact with people, and to try to practice the keys that you have (assuming you've done the Gnostic Wisdom course) as best as you can, then as Jon said, circumstances change and you're helped, but the right person for you isn’t necessarily going to walk up and knock on your door! You have to be open to it and not hide away from everyone because you’re afraid of giving in to lust.

When I met my wife I never thought we’d end up getting married, we just started off as friends.

I met her through the forums on this site and an allnight astral practice that was organised. The only success she had in the whole night was seeing me hanging upside down in front of her computer, she told me about it and after that we started talking on msn. We liked talking to each other and became friends and started talking more and more. And then we both started seeing signs in our dreams and our day as well, about the other person, and wondering if we might be supposed to be together. We were still just friends though because we lived a long way from each other, and we were asking for a guidance as much as we could to know it was right.

I was trying to fight lust as well, because I didn't want to make any mistakes based on that. I had been attracted to another girl in the past, but I got shown in a dream I was just being lustful then, so I wanted to fight it this time.

We kept praying for help and got more direction and eventually after a period of time we decided to be together. It’s hard though I think, because for me anyway I had to make my own choice and I was never shown explicitly we should be together, but all the signs pointed in that direction for both of us, and by the time we got together we had become such good friends and spent so much time talking that we had begun to love each other anyway, so even though there were signs it was almost like we came naturally together!

And after we decided to be together we got helped in lots of ways to be together physically, like help with visas and other stuff we needed like that.

So the whole thing of finding a partner in the Work is not a myth, it happens! :) I know of several other couples in the work too who have had similar things happen and are now happily married.

Peter, I don’t think there has to be lust to start a relationship. I think what the Master’s talk about in terms of falling in love is all that pattern of egos, like the butterflies in the stomach and feelings in the sexual centre or becoming obsessed with someone in your thoughts etc. which makes you completely fascinated. You have to be attracted to someone for alchemy to happen, but you don’t need the lustful drive that for me anyway started all my relationships in the past. It’s more like a natural attraction, and for me it was a friendship that grew really strong that then turned into love.

Also, you can try and pick what you want in a partner, and it’s definitely good to be with someone who’s doing the work (or is accepting of it) but that said, you might find someone different to what you expect! I didn’t get what I initially was looking for or wanted in a partner, but I think I got exactly who I needed. I really love my wife, and she helps me in so many ways, and shows me things about myself that I would never have seen otherwise if I had have been with the person I had ideals about finding! It’s hard sometimes, and you have to see all each others egos, but it’s really really good too, it’s an amazing thing!

This whole topic is covered in a lot of depth on the Gnostic Wisdom course and there’s several whole weeks to divided to lust and sexuality, but in my experience it’s better not to go into a relationship based on lust. If you wait and try and do as best as you can in the work and pray then you get exactly what you need!

All the best,
David

Aww ^^