Planning on moving near a study centre in the future.Subscribe |
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Fri, 10/28/2005 - 13:05
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Timothy A. T.
Join Date: 2004-02-27 Forum Posts: 163 |
Hello,Ever since I've seriously started fighting entropy, developing concentration, eliminating my egos, etc., I have found that my environment isn't that conductive to my spiritual work. My environment is constantly fighting against my spiritual progress. The job market is poor around here, I still have a year of college left before I graduate, and my vehicle keeps breaking down so I can't go anywhere like I would like to all the time (and to top it off I'm dirt poor).However, I practice my concentration and awareness exercises every day and I keep fighting for my internal liberation, despite what my egos try to tell me to make me give up. My concentration is slowly allowing me to focus on my school work and put myself on a straight path to finishing my education, to eliminate laziness and change my circumstances that currently keep me from moving away from here and in the esoteric work. Even though it's around a year before I graduate, I feel it's not too early to begin planning. It would be a long move from Texas, but it's a step I'm willing to take in the not too distant future!I've read Michael S's article on moving near a study centre, and I know that I need to move away from this non-conductive enviroment as soon as I am able to if I want to make any progress. |
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Join Date: 2004-08-04
Forum Posts: 161
I can tell from the limited amount of experience I have had at a study centre is that it is well worth it. I have had the opportunity on a couple of occasions to attend a study centre while I was interstate for work. Not only is it great to have like minded people to talk to about your experiences/ difficulties but when doing astral practices I have found that my concentration is a little better while doing these in a group. I think we also gain strength with our awareness while we are with people that are striving for the same thing not only while we are there but also during the rest of the week.
I am also trying to get a transfer to a city with a study centre as well. I could see the benifits with only a small amount of time attending one.
I wish you all the best on moving near a centre!!
Trent
Join Date: 2004-02-27
Forum Posts: 163
I have a great urge to change. I know that the Masters of the White Lodge would do much for me if I decided to move. I have experienced what the Masters have done in my daily life before, so what is keeping me from making this decision?
Now that I look at it, I have a lot that keeps me bound here that is really silly. First of all, I know my family would be stumped if I moved. I know they would throw excuses at me like "You haven't finished college" or "What will you do if you move to California? You won't be able to find a job out there without a college education" (as San Fransisco would be my first choice, since it's in the USA, though I could move near th Montreal study centre as well). Sometimes I worry about not being abe to find a job as well as well as me not having much money to begin with. So many excuses, so little room for error in this work. (I don't mean to sound like a fanatic). I know the family can be sensitive to the whole idea of the esoteric work, but I'm willing to overcome any obstacle.
My life here is stale and every time I gain momentum entropy slowly settles in. It's just like what Michael S wrote about. My rate of progress seems nonexistent as well. I concentrate every day and despite my best efforts my experiences seem scattered.
I've never been so happy in my life. I never knew anything remotely close to what I feel when I'm aware before I found this work in my life (again, I don't mean to sound like a fanatic). I crave to be more aware than I am now, and my life around here just keeps trying to drag me down when I get a moment of peace here.
Now that I think about it, the sooner I get out of here, the better. I could finish up my education if I moved. Just the excuse of waiting to finish up my education around here is more than likely a hindrance to my inner work. I keep getting this feeling that if I don't make a choice I will fail. I just found out today it could be as late as two years before I graduate from college around here after the college schedules were modified, do I can't take the classes I need when I want to. I don't want to wait for time to bring me the opportunity to change, as time never brings change. Only effort brings change.
I try to do what I can in there here and now, but I keep falling into the same mistakes because of my environment, too. Michael S's article is a near carbon copy of what I'm going through now.
If you're reading, Michael S, I would like to know more.
Moderator
Join Date: 2003-11-20
Forum Posts: 93
Yes, I can definately relate very closely to your postings. I'm glad my article has helped you see the importance of getting near a Center.
I was in a very similar situation as you. I had a great desire to change and kept getting very disappointed at just how strong the current was that I was trying to swim against. I was entertaining the idea of moving near a Center but that meant that I would have to give up a few things.
I used to play music in a band. This had been a dream of mine since early childhood and most of my time up until then went towards realizing the dream of making albums and touring around the country playing it. I invested so much money into equipment over the years that it formed a very great attachment within me. I tried to do both for a while; trying to juggle this Work with my music. But as I progressed with this Work, especially in regards to eliminating egos of anger, the interest in my music (heavy metal music) was dieing as well.
Nonetheless, the attachment to it was still there and it created a great inner conflict within me, probably very similar to what you are feeling right now. Eventually, I got sick of feeling that way and made a decision; I decided to completely end my music career and put everything I had into this Work, which meant moving near and participating in a Center. It was extremely hard to break the news to everyone, my bandmates and my family, but they were surprisingly understanding actually. My bandmates even said that they sensed my interest fading and knew it was coming. My family said they were worried about how unhappy I seemed to be and said that if this is what I wanted to do, they would support it (even though it still makes them uneasy). After the decision was made, I felt that the hard part was over and it was like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. I then proceeded to work an extra job to save more money and make preparations to move to New York state as close to the Canadian border as possible (Champlain or Plattsburgh, NY).
As I mentioned in the article, I found it very surprising how easy it was to get settled and find work. Even when I occassionally got worried about making ends meet, things would happen or opportunities would appear that would resolve my worries. When you find yourself in those situations, do your best to eliminate those fear/worry egos and trust that the divine is behind you in your efforts to fulfill life's purpose. It is definately true as I'm sure you'll come to realize.
I am actually planning to make a move to San Francisco now, once the winter weather ceases in spring. The reason I am doing this is because I am finding myself in the same situation once again. Being here in Plattsburgh, NY, I am 65 miles from Montreal. Even though I try to do practices and help out as much as I can up there, I can't afford the time or gas money to make it up there everyday. When I'm up there, the strength is very evident, only because when I come back to NY, the egos fight hard to bring me back down. Plus, being that most of our students up there are french speakers, I don't feel quite 'at home' up there. Nevertheless I do what I can. But it makes more sense for me to make the move to San Francisco so that I can do more for the third key with my time, money and effort.
I have made some very good friends up in Montreal and have had some very interesting opportunities as well. For example, I got to meet Belzebuub and Edith in person during a retreat in Canada last year. I was lucky to have had the opportunity for some one on one conversations with both of them. I learned quite a few things from observing them and asking them questions. One main thing I learned was how important it really is to stay strong and keep your efforts alive. The best way to do this is by helping with a Center. "We are never in good company when we are alone" was one thing Edith said that stuck with me. Anyway, my point is that I'm emphasizing just how worth it is to work with a Center.
Like I said, I'm working on making a move out to San Francisco this coming spring. Once you've come to your decision and contemplated your options and the best thing you can do for your unique situation, and if you decide that San Francisco is your best bet, I would be willing to work with you in finding accomodations and employment. Perhaps a roommate situation could be a good way to go. We'd have to see what our options are.
Madison, Wisconsin is also an option for you that openned fairly recently. Perhaps that would be closer to where you are now.
If you find yourself more interested in San Fran and would like to work with me on this, send an email to . They can give you some more information as well as my email address and we can go from there.
Best of luck with whatever you choose to do,
Michael S
Join Date: 2003-08-20
Forum Posts: 70
I can relate to the issues with the family, but so long as you carry out your responsibility to make sure they're taken care of then the psychological issues are just something to deal with, which I had to deal with, but which were surprisingly easy to do so with because I knew what I wanted to do and I was willing to do it even when my family said that I couldn't take the money from x bank account, or this, or that, etc...which they gave me all of in the end ;)
When you want to move then you have to make the decision that you're going to do it and be determined to carry it out, being especially careful to not let any negative thoughts interfere. I couldn't agree more that time isn't going to bring change; within is where they happen, right now.
All the best, Timothy. You can ask for my email too.
Kevin
Moderator
Join Date: 2003-11-20
Forum Posts: 93
I just wanted to add one thing.
I don't want you or anyone to think that I am trying to talk you into dropping out of college in order to do this. A college education can be quite useful not only for making a living for yourself, but if you like, helping humanity to receive these teachings. For example, a graphic arts major could give you skills needed to create more professional advertising materials or make a more attractive website.
As for myself, I didn't go to college (though I wish I would have). Luckily, I've developed skills in steel fabrication/welding and art has always been a passion for me. I've applied my knowledge with these trades in the renovation of our new Center in Montreal and with making certain craft projects for it.
Kevin was in a similar situation with college as well. He found a way to transfer his credits to a school in San Francisco and he continues to work on his degree while helping out with the Center. So it's not like you have to choose one or the other.
Just wanted to clarify that. ;)
Michael S
Join Date: 2004-02-27
Forum Posts: 163
I have skills that could help. I am an artist, and I also have linguistic skills I would like to bring into play. I know Japanese and I would like to finish learning it (I'm not far from being at the advanced level) and use my skills to translate Belzebub's works into Japanese once I get fluent (I should be nearly fluent next year).
I've been teaching myself Japanese since I was 15 (I'm 24 right now) and for the past few years before I found this work I stopped because my egos were strong and dawdled in studying it. According to the Japan Foundation's Japanese Language proficiency standards, I only have to study Japanese for an equivalent of 4 1/2 to 6 months to be proficient in Japanese at the highest level.
I have a fairly good working knowledge of Japanese culture and could help make Samael's, Rabolu's and Beelzebub's teachings available to Japanese speaking people. I'm currently studying Japanese in concentration and I am gaining knowledge of the language again very quickly since I am aware.
I will keep in touch. And I will work on my Japanese skills so I can change my circumstances I'm in right now. Now that I am seeing and eliminating the egos that have caused me to dawdle in learning such a useful skill I have to fight through them, no matter what the cost.
Moderator
Join Date: 2003-11-20
Forum Posts: 93
Best of luck and much strength to you in your efforts and plans.
Michael S
Join Date: 2004-02-27
Forum Posts: 163
It might take me a while to save up money to move to San Francisco. I hardly earn any money and the job market around here is very poor (Not to mention that I am dirt poor). I'm getting some things in order and making plans to get there. If I learn all the Japanese I need to by the time I get the money to move to San Francisco I might not have trouble finding a job over there.
I emailed the SF Center and we can continue our correspondence through email.
Join Date: 2004-11-09
Forum Posts: 14
It sounds like you have a great plan, and I know from your past postings and such that you have worked really hard to get where you are spiritually.......but, I have to point out that while you are saving money and planning for the move near a center, you could finish your last year of college. It's alot easier to finish school in the college that you started, especially since you are probably well along in your major study.
It might just be the "Mom" coming out in me, but I also know how much easier it is to find a job and pay for your lodgings, etc, after college as opposed to working while in college and trying to meet all of those other obligations.
But, if opportunity arises and you feel you must.....then whatever you choose, I hope the best for you!!
Celestite
Join Date: 2004-02-21
Forum Posts: 10
I try to avoid thinking, "if I were at a center, I'd be doing much better," so that I'm not 'living in the future,' but at the same time, I know what a tremendous help it will be. I'm looking forward it!