Your Experiences

Learning from the Past

By Noah
Halifax, Canada

Retrospection is such an enjoyable practice which fits so perfectly into my schedule, that now it hardly feels like a practice at all; it is a natural part of my routine before bed, like brushing my teeth. Ever since I first heard about it, I felt that this simple exercise really made sense; I felt it would strengthen my memory and help me to learn about myself and my actions.

Late into the evening, I set aside roughly half an hour to look over my day and observe what happened. I review my day as if I’m watching a movie, which allows me to see my actions more clearly, and from a different perspective than I have during the intensity of the moment. This has helped me to gain some peace, for example, after upsetting arguments.

Because I usually think I’m right when I’m angry, I don’t really notice all of my negative reactions and hateful feelings that are flooding my mind and causing me to act so terribly. Carrying out a retrospection after I’ve cooled off has shown me that the topic of the argument was something that didn’t really matter at all and should be of no concern, but I used it as an excuse to let out my anger.

I typically start off my retrospection with some basic questions to remind me of my day, such as: “What did I eat at my meals? What was I wearing today? What were the dreams I remembered this morning?” Then, very concentrated on the practice, I begin to ask more intense questions, such as: “When did I feel fear today? When did I feel socially uncomfortable? When was I angry?”

I have tried looking for details that challenge my memory, such as the color of someone’s clothing that day. Another technique is to picture myself from a third person perspective to get the “outsider’s view” which can help me see things from a new angle. But mostly I use the exercise to spot my own harmful actions – harmful to myself and others. This has brought great regret when I see how rude and cold I have been, even to family members who have been so kind to me. But this dissatisfaction with myself makes me see the opportunity to increase my love, and resolve to change for the better.

This practice has also shown me light-hearted insights such as how a certain person was able to be so funny, or how another person is such a great conversationalist. It has helped me to see a repetitive recurrence of certain typical behaviors and situations over and over that have to do with my personality and character, as if it keeps happening because there is something I need to learn from it, something I need to work out.

Retrospection really made sense to me, even before I tried it. Now I am appreciating its benefits more and more.